Life at its Best !

For the past few days I have been consumed with thoughts of my parents and especially my father which I wrote about in my previous post. This past weekend though was filled to the brim with happy occasions ~ graduations, babies, weddings and cherished time with family. It was exactly what I needed to flush some of the feelings of sadness and worry from my mind - even if it was only temporary, it was necessary. I had fun photographing some of the events of the past 48 hours so buckle up - it was a whirlwind of activity!

On Saturday we attended our nephew's high school graduation. Hard to believe that he is eighteen years old- time flies when you are having the time of your life.
The speeches began. I love all that is going on in the background ~ unfocused attention...
My ADD or ADHD or Boredom kicked in and my camera and I started to look around for interesting shots. The kids in the picture below started to get antsy and the beach balls came out causing some distractions...

And then...I found the hats. I zoomed in on the caps of the some of the students and was impressed with the artwork. I was able to sit still for the entire two hours as I focused on the hats. I did listen politely and quietly and clapped loudly and proudly when my nephew received his diploma but his last name starts with a "B" so he was one of the first ones to receive his diploma - and there were a LOT of kids after him. Here are a few of my favorite caps...

Our youngest son arrived early on Sunday, Father's Day, with treats for his dad. I did have my eye on this pink sugary morsel. I resisted, sort of. I thoroughly enjoyed every bite of a honey glazed donut. Great way to start the day!

In the middle of this wild weekend my oldest son and his wife moved back into our home ~ with all of their belongings. They are getting ready to start a new adventure with a new job and a precious baby arriving at the end of July. A crowded, chaotic but happy home full of love !

And on Sunday we headed for a wedding. Our niece was getting married. Here's my man - dodging raindrops.

This is the first time I have ever seen a cat at a wedding. A naked cat at that !

Working the camera !

No groomsmen here - only groomswomen ! Girl Power !

Sharing the Love !

The wedding was held near the town in which I grew up. We drove by my childhood home. My parents moved out of this house twentyish years ago - and my dad would be very upset if he saw how run down it looks. He always had beautiful flowers, manicured lawns...you can't go back home. I wish I hadn't.

While in my old hometown we stopped to visit a dear friend of mine. We hadn't seen each other in years and I am so glad that we took the time to stop and say hi. Of course I had to show her my grammie brag book. Notice I am wearing a corsage that my niece gave me at the wedding - just because !

And then finally we arrived home and found these little pumpkins there, waiting to wish their Grampie a Happy Father's Day !

And now my soul is nourished and I am ready for the week ahead !

Deflated

Hi. My name is Debbie and I am a recovering mother of the bride. After months of planning, it is all over. Done. Finished. That chapter in my live is complete. And what a chapter it was!

I wasn't sure what to expect with this wedding, the wedding which we refer to as the 'American' wedding. We had gone to India in February for the 'India' wedding and now it was our turn to host the festivities. My daughter and her fiancee wanted a 'traditional' American wedding. She wore a beautiful wedding gown, her dad walked her down the aisle and our minister married them reading familiar words and Scripture. Guests arrived from India, all corners of Canada, Texas, Arizona, California and many states up and down the East Coast. We all shared a good laugh as we discussed the many different ways we greeted each other as we all came together at the rehearsal dinner on Friday evening. The Canadian girls gave us the two cheek 'air' kiss, the Indians greeted us with a slight head bow and put their hands together as they greeted us with 'Namaste', and the Americans shook hands, hugged or kissed or some awkward combination of all three. And so there I was ~ air kissing, bowing, shaking, hugging and kissing - all at once. I was exhausted.

The wedding took place at 5:00 pm. I have to be honest here - I am not a huge fan of these late afternoon, early evening weddings. I can't stand the wait time. By Saturday morning I was ready to go. But...it wasn't about me. It was my daughter's wedding, my daughter's day, so I kept myself busy until the magical hour. So off to the spa I went for my hot stone massage.

In my opinion if all people received a monthly massage the world would be a better place. I can think of only one physical experience which is more enjoyable than a hot stone massge - and I am not talking childbirth. As I laid on the massage table I tried to sleep as the massage therapist worked her magic but my mind was racing. I started talking. My sinuses started to let loose. And then the tears came. Lots of them. The massage therapist said to let the tears flow. I had no choice. So I laid there defenseless as tears poured down my face. My nose was running. I was, once again, a mess. I like to think I was a hot mess.

So many emotions were running through my veins. A jumble of thoughts and memories fought to get attention from me. My parents were not able to attend thier oldest granddaughter's wedding due to failing health so I cried tears for them. Memories of my daughter as a little girl filled my head and I was taken back to the days of playing school with her, watching her dance to the movie 'Foot Loose', and to the times when I had to set an extra plate at the table for her imaginary friend, Charlie Brown. I chuckled as I remembered the evening I sat down to eat and my daughter screamed at me - I had just sat down on Charlie Brown!

Memories of walking to the nearest corner store to buy our daily Popsicle, spending hours in the children's room of our local library and dancing to 'Girls just want to have Fun' in our kitchen were all part of the tears which cascaded down my cheeks. Just let them flow. Memories of reading, reading and reading some more to my girl. Memories of telling bedtime stories, making dozens of Christmas cookies, watching her run on her school's track team, preparing for the debate team, buying her first prom gown. So many memories, so many tears.

And then I focused on the here and now. My first born was getting married ! My daughter has met her soul mate. She has met her match. They will challenge each other. They will respect each other. They will support each other. They will love each other. My tears dried up. I took a few deep breaths. It was time to get this party started.

My daughter had asked her dad to say a blessing before the meal at the reception. He had been working on choosing the perfect words for a few weeks but I had no idea what he was going to say. He looked so handsome standing in front of all of the guests dressed in his tuxedo. I felt my heart flutter as I watched him. After thirty years of marriage he still reaches me at my core. His words were spoken from the heart and powerful. I would like to share the last line which set the tone for the evening... ' We pray that the differences now gathered herein will form a beautiful mosaic which exemplifies, glorifies and celebrates that which is the very best of humankind.'

And then we got the party started. We ate. We talked. We danced. We toasted. We laughed. We made friendships. We shared traditions. We shared cultures. My son found out he loves Punjabi music. We taught the Electric Slide to our new friends. I found out there were more tears hanging out in my tear ducts! They became visible when my beautiful daughter danced with her wonderful father. I watched as he struggled to keep his tears under control. Just let them flow. My cheeks were wet as I watched the groom dance with his mom. She was so nervous. She was not at all familiar with our tradition, with our dancing style, but she did it for her son. Her love for her son enveloped the room.

We came together from around the world to witness this marriage and at the end of it all the world seemed to be a more beautiful mosaic and our differences seemed less than our commonalities. Love does make the world go round!

So here I sit, propped up. I am exhausted from crying. My feet hurt from wearing cute heels which really hurt. I am reflecting. Three weddings in one year - phew. My closet is now full of gowns, tight heels and saris. I will deal with all of that later. Now I have to figure out what to do next. Sleep is high on my list. I'd love a massage but my tear ducts ache. Cleaning this house is low on the list.

But there is no rest for the weary - today is my husband's birthday! Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday. Not the newlywed daughter but the pregnant daughter ~ my Halloween baby. She will be 28 years old tomorrow and she is very pregnant ~ with twins ~ twin boys! Let's get this party started- again.

A Quickie

Gown fittings.

Shoe shopping.

Jewelry shopping.

Meet with DJ.

Meet with Florist.

Meet with Photographer.

Create table numbers and seating charts.

Find another pen so I can write another check.

Find a karaoke machine...yep, we are having a karaoke contest at the reception! Instead of giving favors, the winner of the karaoke contest gets to choose a charity and money will be donated to that charity! So in between everything I have been practicing my song choice! If I win, my charity choice will be Girls, INC. - an organization near and dear to my heart.

The above is a partial list of all that we have to accomplish in the next ten days. I am exhausted.

I recently had a few minutes to sit down and breath. I turned on the TV to watch something which wouldn't require me to think. Oh, great - it is the Presidential Debates. I don't talk politics on my blog but let's just say I don't find it relaxing to watch the debates. I get frustrated. I get angry. I can't watch the Red Sox play Tampa Bay since that makes me frustrated. I get angry. So I will write a post quickly since wedding chores are calling. Writing to my blogging friends often helps me to relax.

Saturday evening we had a cocktail party / bridal shower for my daughter. It was very rewarding to watch my daughter be surrounded by so many friends and family. We ate, we laughed, she opened some gifts while wearing a boa and a tiara, we made her a scrapbook full of memories, we drank, ...we wished her well as she prepares for marriage. The cake was made at Jacques Fine Pastries in Suncook, NH. It is fun to visit their site - incredible artists. None of us wanted to cut the cake but we finally did it and it was a delicious white cake with raspberry and chocolate filling. A little taste of heaven!

Monday was a holiday and we climbed Mt. Monadnock. This mountain is the second most climbed peak in the world - Mt. Fuji is climbed the most. I had climbed this mountain back in 1976 when I was a bit younger but I remembered that the views were spectacular. On a clear day you can see all the way to Boston. The weather was the perfect Autumn day but not quite as clear as we would have liked. I was proud and relieved when we made it to the summit. It was nice to take our minds off of the wedding for a few hours. So I will leave you with a few pictures from our hike while I go work with my daughter on the reception seating chart ~ not an easy task. In nine days all of our hard work will be rewarded when we come together to celebrate love and marriage.

Love is in the Air ~ Again !

I started my day rather teary. Our oldest daughter is getting married at the end of October. This is a second marriage for her. It is her second marriage to the same man! Confused? Sorry. Our daughter and her fiancee got married this past February in India. My husband and I traveled to India so we could be present for that marvelous event. That was when I started my blog. If you click here you can see some pictures from the India wedding. None of our family or friends were able to make that trip with us so...we are having an American wedding in 22 days to celebrate their marriage - again ! I was teary this morning because my husband and daughter were deciding on music for the dad/daughter dance and I was just a mess, a hot mess. They narrowed it down to ' To Sir with Love' or 'Everything I Own' by Bread. I sobbed as I listened to both songs, thinking of my husband, the father of our four children, dancing with our 'little' girl. I need to make sure I wear waterproof mascara on her special day.

Now some of you may remember that my son got married in August. I had promised to post pictures as soon as I got some which didn't show the mascara running down my face and I finally have some which I would like to share with my blogging friends.

Proud Parents!

Giving some last minute advice to my son!

And they lived happily ever after....

Just Breath

Still waiting impatiently for someone, anyone, to send me pictures from my son's wedding last Saturday. Please! I didn't bring my camera because I knew I would be busy performing 'the mom of the groom' duties. As soon as I have some pictures I will be sharing them here.

The day before the wedding I drove to Maine with my husband and son. No matter how organized I think I am, I find out whenever we travel anywhere which involves a suitcase that I am not so organized. I triple checked that I had my gown, my shoes, accessories - everything I would need for the wedding was packed. Cute sundress for the rehearsal dinner, pajamas, outfit for the day after the wedding, check. So far so good. Then my husband arrived back home after having spent the morning running errands. "Are we ready to go? Is my suitcase all packed?" No.

I did not pack my husband's suitcase even though I told him I would do that. Why? Basically, I forgot. I was so focused on not forgetting my gown, my cute sundress for the rehearsal dinner, outfit for the day after the wedding, appropriate shoes for each outfit, accessories...I did not want to get all the way up to Maine and realize I had no earrings.

My husband is a good sport and he knew that my stress level was maxed out so he ran upstairs to pack his own suitcase. I was rather surprised when he announced that he was ready to leave in five minutes or less. "Hmm, Hon, are you sure you packed everything you need? Golf clothes, rehearsal dinner outfit, suit?"

"Yep, let's hit the road. I am good to go." Amazing. I had made lists to make sure that I had everything I needed and was re-checking my suitcase for the tenth time while my husband, Mr. Efficient Packer, was ultra-confident in his organizational skills. I have learned after thirty years of marriage to not doubt him . After all, I have never witnessed him sitting on his suitcase, struggling to get it locked. I always pray that he won't walk into the room as I struggle to keep my luggage from popping open. He always does.

Finally we were ready to head to Maine. My son, the groom to be, became more antsy and anxious as we drove. We had a few last minute stops to make along the way which only added to his anxiety. I had hoped that I would have time before the church rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner to relax and freshen up -whatever that means. We checked into the hotel and the 'groom to be' announced that we had to leave immediately for the church rehearsal. I tried to calm him down and explained that we had plenty of time but he was already on his way to the car. His dad followed after him, telling me that they would meet me in the car. Great.

At this point I was still wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I needed to change into my cute sundress for the rehearsal activities. No time for freshening up - I threw the sundress on, prayed my deodorant was still effective and headed out the door of the room. Time for one quick glance into the mirror on the closet door. I stopped dead in my tracks. The cute sundress was a tad see through - I definitely needed a slip. Wasn't that on my list? I rummaged through my luggage trying to find a slip, how did I not pack one? What to do, what to do? I think I hear the car horn honking for me in front of the hotel. Think quick. I threw my jeans and my
t-shirt back on. Looks like I was going casual. Great.

Sputtering, I climbed back into the car. Both men looked at me.
"That's what you're wearing to the church rehearsal?"
"Drive."
They did.

We arrived at the church - early. The 'groom to be' announced that he was famished. He had to eat NOW or he was going to pass out. There was a deli down the street from the church so we headed in that direction. I was still sputtering about my cute sundress but no one was listening to me. These two men saw nothing wrong with me, the mother of the groom, arriving for the reheasal wearing my jeans and t-shirt. I had planned my outfits weeks ago - how could I have forgotten a slip? Maybe I should have just thrown all modesty to the wind and let my pink polka dotted undies be seen by all - including the minister? Nope, not happening. So, while my husband and the 'groom to be' ran into a deli to grab a snadwich, I sat in the car, sputtering.

If only these were designer jeans or I had some funky jewelry so I could dress up this t-shirt. As I sat in the car, stewing over my situation, I noticed a consignment shop across the street. Odd place for a consignment shop, almost in the middle of nowhere. Whoa, wait a minute...a consignment shop! I jumped out of the car, ran across the street, praying this wasn't just a figment of my imagination. The store clerk looked startled as I practically threw myself into her arms. I started rambling on, incoherently, about my situation. She backed up slowly. I realized I probably looked like a raving lunatic so I took a breath and slowed down. Finally the woman realized I meant her no harm and she began helping me search for an outfit.
She understood that time was against me and began throwing outfits in my direction as I stood in the changing room. I think she saw this as a true challenge.

Ten minutes later, I left the shop with my jeans and t-shirt in a bag. My 'new' blouse and skirt with matching jacket were the perfect outfit to wear to the rehearsal. The pink stone of my 'new' necklace matched the colors of the wedding. As I entered the church for the rehearsal I thought about the craziness of the past couple of hours and realized how much energy I had wasted on sputtering and stewing. When I can just slow down, take a deep breath and clear my head, I find that the answer usually does come to me. Just breath. I sat down in the front pew and watched my handsome son practice for his wedding day. Just breath.

Forever and Always

Twenty four years ago a baby boy was born on the floor of our local hospital. The reason he was born on the floor was not because his mother made it to the hospital just in the nick of time. No, she had plenty of time. It wasn't because there was no room in the hospital. No, there were plenty of beds. He was born on the floor because his mother got into an argument with her doctor. The mother had been laying quietly in her bed in the maternity ward, breathing and meditating through the pain. This was her third child and she was confident about the birthing process.

Her doctor strode quickly and abruptly into the room and told the mother that she needed to start pushing soon. "It isn't time for me to push yet," the mom replied, "I will know when it is time to push."

"I have a C-Section in less than one hour. You need to start pushing soon or I won't be able to keep on my schedule, " the male obstetrician arrogantly replied.

The experienced, indignant mom, who was now in the throes of intense labor, propped herself up in the bed. In a voice straight from the movie 'The Exorcist', she screeched at the male doctor, "Who do you think you are to tell me when to start pushing? I will know when it is time to push. Leave Me ALONE!"

A nurse appeared out of nowhere and suggested to the doctor that he leave the room since the mom was now extremely agitated. In the meantime the mom slid out of her bed and began to pace around the room. Her eyes had begun to glaze over and sweat beads were running off her brow. As she paced around, the pain intensified. Breathe, pant,pant, breathe, SCREAM.

The mom sat down on the floor. The nurse and the dad ran over to her, coaxing, bribing her to please get back on the bed. She stared at them, trying to determine who they were. She had lost her sense of reality and all dignity. She laid down on the hard tile floor and pressed her cheek on the coolness. The relief was welcome but temporary. Because now it was time to PUSH.
There was no time to move Mom back up onto the bed - the baby was coming -NOW.

And that is how my third child, my Velcro Boy, arrived into this world. Over the past few weeks I have been reflecting about him, his arrival and his life. I have been walking down memory lane thinking about how he has changed my life, how he has brightened my days, how much he has taught me. I have poured over the hundreds of photos, smiling as I think about the adventures we have shared, the laughs, the conversations, the debates and the challenges. I respect his quest for knowledge, his inquisitive mind, his unending questions and his incredible Tigger-like energy. He is lovable, huggable, intelligient and extremely hard working. He has a good heart and I love him - always have, always will. And on Saturday he is getting married. On Saturday, I will watch him through my happy tears as he marries his true love. She is a wonderful woman and I truly believe that they will share a wonderful life together.

My wish for this young couple is that they will continue to fill their lives with love, laughter, hugs, kisses, smiles, respect, humor, conversations, debates, understanding, honesty, trust, adventures, risk taking, romance, comfort, compassion, silliness and lots more love. And I hope that Velcro Boy knows that I will love him ~forever and always.

Here are a few photos of my Velcro Boy which show his true colors! And now I must go and fill my pocketbook with tissues...I have a wedding to attend.