Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Hi. My name is Debbie and I am a recovering mother of the bride. After months of planning, it is all over. Done. Finished. That chapter in my live is complete. And what a chapter it was!

I wasn't sure what to expect with this wedding, the wedding which we refer to as the 'American' wedding. We had gone to India in February for the 'India' wedding and now it was our turn to host the festivities. My daughter and her fiancee wanted a 'traditional' American wedding. She wore a beautiful wedding gown, her dad walked her down the aisle and our minister married them reading familiar words and Scripture. Guests arrived from India, all corners of Canada, Texas, Arizona, California and many states up and down the East Coast. We all shared a good laugh as we discussed the many different ways we greeted each other as we all came together at the rehearsal dinner on Friday evening. The Canadian girls gave us the two cheek 'air' kiss, the Indians greeted us with a slight head bow and put their hands together as they greeted us with 'Namaste', and the Americans shook hands, hugged or kissed or some awkward combination of all three. And so there I was ~ air kissing, bowing, shaking, hugging and kissing - all at once. I was exhausted.

The wedding took place at 5:00 pm. I have to be honest here - I am not a huge fan of these late afternoon, early evening weddings. I can't stand the wait time. By Saturday morning I was ready to go. wasn't about me. It was my daughter's wedding, my daughter's day, so I kept myself busy until the magical hour. So off to the spa I went for my hot stone massage.

In my opinion if all people received a monthly massage the world would be a better place. I can think of only one physical experience which is more enjoyable than a hot stone massge - and I am not talking childbirth. As I laid on the massage table I tried to sleep as the massage therapist worked her magic but my mind was racing. I started talking. My sinuses started to let loose. And then the tears came. Lots of them. The massage therapist said to let the tears flow. I had no choice. So I laid there defenseless as tears poured down my face. My nose was running. I was, once again, a mess. I like to think I was a hot mess.

So many emotions were running through my veins. A jumble of thoughts and memories fought to get attention from me. My parents were not able to attend thier oldest granddaughter's wedding due to failing health so I cried tears for them. Memories of my daughter as a little girl filled my head and I was taken back to the days of playing school with her, watching her dance to the movie 'Foot Loose', and to the times when I had to set an extra plate at the table for her imaginary friend, Charlie Brown. I chuckled as I remembered the evening I sat down to eat and my daughter screamed at me - I had just sat down on Charlie Brown!
Memories of walking to the nearest corner store to buy our daily Popsicle, spending hours in the children's room of our local library and dancing to 'Girls just want to have Fun' in our kitchen were all part of the tears which cascaded down my cheeks. Just let them flow. Memories of reading, reading and reading some more to my girl. Memories of telling bedtime stories, making dozens of Christmas cookies, watching her run on her school's track team, preparing for the debate team, buying her first prom gown. So many memories, so many tears.

And then I focused on the here and now. My first born was getting married ! My daughter has met her soul mate. She has met her match. They will challenge each other. They will respect each other. They will support each other. They will love each other. My tears dried up. I took a few deep breaths. It was time to get this party started.

My daughter had asked her dad to say a blessing before the meal at the reception. He had been working on choosing the perfect words for a few weeks but I had no idea what he was going to say. He looked so handsome standing in front of all of the guests dressed in his tuxedo. I felt my heart flutter as I watched him. After thirty years of marriage he still reaches me at my core. His words were spoken from the heart and powerful. I would like to share the last line which set the tone for the evening... ' We pray that the differences now gathered herein will form a beautiful mosaic which exemplifies, glorifies and celebrates that which is the very best of humankind.'

And then we got the party started. We ate. We talked. We danced. We toasted. We laughed. We made friendships. We shared traditions. We shared cultures. My son found out he loves Punjabi music. We taught the Electric Slide to our new friends. I found out there were more tears hanging out in my tear ducts! They became visible when my beautiful daughter danced with her wonderful father. I watched as he struggled to keep his tears under control. Just let them flow. My cheeks were wet as I watched the groom dance with his mom. She was so nervous. She was not at all familiar with our tradition, with our dancing style, but she did it for her son. Her love for her son enveloped the room.

We came together from around the world to witness this marriage and at the end of it all the world seemed to be a more beautiful mosaic and our differences seemed less than our commonalities. Love does make the world go round!

So here I sit, propped up. I am exhausted from crying. My feet hurt from wearing cute heels which really hurt. I am reflecting. Three weddings in one year - phew. My closet is now full of gowns, tight heels and saris. I will deal with all of that later. Now I have to figure out what to do next. Sleep is high on my list. I'd love a massage but my tear ducts ache. Cleaning this house is low on the list.

But there is no rest for the weary - today is my husband's birthday! Tomorrow is my daughter's birthday. Not the newlywed daughter but the pregnant daughter ~ my Halloween baby. She will be 28 years old tomorrow and she is very pregnant ~ with twins ~ twin boys! Let's get this party started- again.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

A Quickie

Gown fittings.

Shoe shopping.

Jewelry shopping.

Meet with DJ.

Meet with Florist.

Meet with Photographer.

Create table numbers and seating charts.

Find another pen so I can write another check.

Find a karaoke machine...yep, we are having a karaoke contest at the reception! Instead of giving favors, the winner of the karaoke contest gets to choose a charity and money will be donated to that charity! So in between everything I have been practicing my song choice! If I win, my charity choice will be Girls, INC. - an organization near and dear to my heart.

The above is a partial list of all that we have to accomplish in the next ten days. I am exhausted.

I recently had a few minutes to sit down and breath. I turned on the TV to watch something which wouldn't require me to think. Oh, great - it is the Presidential Debates. I don't talk politics on my blog but let's just say I don't find it relaxing to watch the debates. I get frustrated. I get angry. I can't watch the Red Sox play Tampa Bay since that makes me frustrated. I get angry. So I will write a post quickly since wedding chores are calling. Writing to my blogging friends often helps me to relax.

Saturday evening we had a cocktail party / bridal shower for my daughter. It was very rewarding to watch my daughter be surrounded by so many friends and family. We ate, we laughed, she opened some gifts while wearing a boa and a tiara, we made her a scrapbook full of memories, we drank, ...we wished her well as she prepares for marriage. The cake was made at Jacques Fine Pastries in Suncook, NH. It is fun to visit their site - incredible artists. None of us wanted to cut the cake but we finally did it and it was a delicious white cake with raspberry and chocolate filling. A little taste of heaven!

Monday was a holiday and we climbed Mt. Monadnock. This mountain is the second most climbed peak in the world - Mt. Fuji is climbed the most. I had climbed this mountain back in 1976 when I was a bit younger but I remembered that the views were spectacular. On a clear day you can see all the way to Boston. The weather was the perfect Autumn day but not quite as clear as we would have liked. I was proud and relieved when we made it to the summit. It was nice to take our minds off of the wedding for a few hours. So I will leave you with a few pictures from our hike while I go work with my daughter on the reception seating chart ~ not an easy task. In nine days all of our hard work will be rewarded when we come together to celebrate love and marriage.

Friday, October 10, 2008


It is late. The 11:00 news person is droning on and on about all of the bad news in the world. My hubby is snoring away in his recliner. I need toothpicks in my eyelids - but I can't sleep. Our oldest daughter is flying home and her plane lands in one hour. I will be there to meet her plane, to hug her and kiss her and welcome her home. This is the last time she will be flying home as an unmarried woman. Yes, she did get married in India in February but no one seems to know if that marriage is 'legal' here. In sixteen days she will be a married woman and life will change for her and for me. I have not been able to post much lately because I am preparing for the BIG day. I probably won't be posting much until after the BIG day. And that is okay. Because I want to enjoy every minute with my girl.

The last few days I have been exfoliating. A real deep cleaning...scrubbing, scouring, polishing of... my house. I do not enjoy doing housework and I can be the queen of procrastination. More on that later...for now suffice it to say that this house is ready to party. And party we will...

As I clean I make decisions about what I need to keep and what items can go to our local swap shop. As I clean I think about my blog and possible posts. That helps me forget how much I hate to clean. I try to organize my thoughts and file ideas neatly away until I need them. But I find that there is a little bit of this and a little bit of that which can't be categorized so I am going to put them all together in this post. We'll see what we end up with.

In the blogging world I consider myself to be the new kid on the block. I am reminded of when we moved when I was in the seventh grade and I had to make new friends. Not an easy task but a task made easier when some kind soul decides to reach out to you. I have found many such people in blogland but one woman in particular has truly welcomed me into this community. Akelamalu is my blogging mentor. When you stop by her blog be prepared to stay for awhile. She has the music ready, her little butterfly flits around to greet you and her writing will pull you right in - and sometimes scare you! :) She doodles, she rants and she creates - but more importantly, she cares. Akelamalu awarded me with this award a while ago and I am just getting around to acknowledging it. I truly appreciate her kindness and once again I find myself not knowing what to wear while accepting this award. Please stop by for a visit to Akelamalu's - I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

~ The Arte Y Pico Award ~

Isn't she lovely? I just hope that Akelamalu didn't award it to me because she thinks I am a little angel! Guess I fooled her, didn't I?

The rules of Arte Y Pico are that it is passed onto five blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting comment, or for contributing to the blogging community, whatever language. Each award winner has to show the award on their blog and link their blog to the blog that has given them the award.

So now I have to pass this award onto five fellow bloggers. How do I choose just five? I have tossed this around in my mind for a few days now. If you read my blog I thank you and feel free to grab this award as your own. I am sure that you have earned it. There are five blogs that I would like to mention and hope you get a chance to stop by for a visit.

1. Andrea with the Flipflops ~ I love the name of her blog. She writes with refreshing honesty about her life. Some of her stories remind me of myself, in a past life, when I was running around taking care of my four little ones. Now I just sit back, read Andrea's blog and laugh!

2. Liebfraumilch and Lipstick ~ You never know what to expect when you stop here for a visit. Elaine writes with emotion and passion. She seems like she has a fun loving spirit and would be a fabulous addition to any girls night out.

3. Louise at Potted Frog ~ This blog has it all. Incredible photographs, writing from the heart, creativity, and wonderful humor are always plentiful. I find it hard to believe that National Geographic has not hired this talented photographer!

4. Dreamlight ~ Her writing is honest, clear and to the point. She talks about being mindful of moments. She talks about appreciating the small stuff. She is not afraid to discuss her emotions. I often leave her blog feeling at peace. Sometimes I leave worried and wondering. I appreciate the humanness of her blog, written with sensitivity and clarity.

5. Liquid Illuzion ~ The first time I stopped in for a visit I spent a long time just looking at the 'header' on this blog. It certainly made me stop and wonder. Her writing and her photos keep you coming back for more. She has created a blog which is a combination of sometimes fun, sometimes flirty but always real. Her focus this month has been to raise awareness and money to help the fight against breast cancer. Last year I walked with five friends in the Susan G Koman 3 Day Walk. Our team, Melons with Moxie, walked sixty miles in Boston and raised over $15,000. Thank you Liquid for using your blog to educate and for helping this cause. Clicking here will give you more info about breast cancer - education and awareness are part of the battle plan to help fight this disease!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Love is in the Air ~ Again !

I started my day rather teary. Our oldest daughter is getting married at the end of October. This is a second marriage for her. It is her second marriage to the same man! Confused? Sorry. Our daughter and her fiancee got married this past February in India. My husband and I traveled to India so we could be present for that marvelous event. That was when I started my blog. If you click here you can see some pictures from the India wedding. None of our family or friends were able to make that trip with us so...we are having an American wedding in 22 days to celebrate their marriage - again ! I was teary this morning because my husband and daughter were deciding on music for the dad/daughter dance and I was just a mess, a hot mess. They narrowed it down to ' To Sir with Love' or 'Everything I Own' by Bread. I sobbed as I listened to both songs, thinking of my husband, the father of our four children, dancing with our 'little' girl. I need to make sure I wear waterproof mascara on her special day.

Now some of you may remember that my son got married in August. I had promised to post pictures as soon as I got some which didn't show the mascara running down my face and I finally have some which I would like to share with my blogging friends.

Proud Parents!

Giving some last minute advice to my son!

And they lived happily ever after....
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