Just sit the hell down and write !

Dear Blog,

I feel as if I owe you a written apology for having neglected you for SO long. How ridiculous is that ?  Several of my 3AM anxiety attacks might even have been due to the fact that I have not written forever. I have missed you and the art of writing. My brain is going to bust open from the ideas that are ricocheting around inside. I don't believe there is any graceful way to slide back into writing on a regular basis. I just need to do it. Fearing that you might be angry with me for the L.O.N.G. hiatus, I have actually created a list of reasons as to why I have been absent for so long. Here goes ~

1. I had a speck in my eye. More accurately I had a whitehead thingy near my tear duct which my sister convinced me to let her remove with a sharp object. My husband held me down while she performed this mini-surgery in my living room. I will admit that I yelled, wiggled and squirmed but the surgery was a success. Whitehead thingy is gone and I can still see.

2. For the past ten months I have been grieving for my dad. I am trying to figure out how life goes on without him. I have not found the answer yet. I cry at random times and my heart aches. If you are reading this post and your dad is still alive please give him a call, write him a letter or give him a bear hug. You could do all three. xo

3. One day I quietly sat and watched a woolly bear caterpillar as it crossed my porch.

4. I am learning how to pray.

5. On numerous occasions I chased Lady the Goat around my yard. She is an escape artist and thinks she is a dog. After munching her way through my flower gardens she would appear on my front porch and bang her head on the door. Getting her back into her pen is no easy task.

6. My Mermaid rug project is ALMOST finished. I started this rug four years ago. Talk about embarrassingly slow. I am one slow hooker. I often have to decide between writing and hooking...and then I wander off to take a photo walk with my trusty camera.

7. I have developed a mini-bicep muscle. I refer to it as my (cap)gun. Twice a week I force myself to attend BootCamp. Never in a zillion years did I think that I would be doing push-ups, pull-ups or planks. Okay, so I still can't do a pull-up and my push-ups are wimpy but my planks are noteworthy.

8. Three months after Dad passed away, Mom suffered a stroke. I am still trying to figure out life with my 'new' mom. Life is different. Very different.

9. Six months ago we welcomed Grandbaby Five into our family. She is a cutie pie, full of love, laughter and giggles. I could just kiss her to pieces. I love how our family tree continues to grow.

10. My name is Debbie and I am addicted to Needle Naps. Ahhh...Zzzzz. Twice a week you can find me at Manchester Acupuncture Studio snoozing away while needles stick out of my fingers, toes, head and knees.

11. No more dirty eating for me. I now follow a clean eating regime which basically means I have taken processed foods out of my diet. Lots of protein, veggies and fruits and complex carbs...and an occasional peanut M&M.

12. In June, I had the honor of being a reader at my niece's wedding. Surrounded by family and friends, it felt right to read the special words which hopefully the newlyweds will hold in their hearts as they start their new life together.

13. Chased the chickens out of the garden, off of my porch and out of the garage. I don't like the chickens.

14. When it is not a BootCamp day I jog. I would like to say that I run but I am pretty sure that I am moving at the pace of a jogger. Whatever.

15. I swallowed a bug while jogging.

16. I saw a falling star the other evening. I made a wish.

17. I pretended to be a dinosaur while playing with my twin grandsons. We were friendly dinosaurs who chased each other until we fell down laughing.

18. Working on being able to beat my husband consistently at Bananagrams ! This is a tough one.

19. I took a workshop on learning how to mat a picture. I now have a better understanding of why it is so expensive to mat and frame pictures. Not sure I have the patience or skill to try this on my own.

20. I tried my hand at milking a goat. If we had to depend on me to get our daily milk we would be thirsty.

21. I ran a 5K recently. It was a gorgeous course that weaved through an ocean town. Breathtaking views inspired me as did being surrounded by fourteen hundred people who shared a common goal with me ~ finish the race ! Not only did I finish the race with a time of 33:10 I made sure to finish with a smile.

22. Many days I could be found dancing around my kitchen with my 2 year old granddaughter. How can I resist when she tugs at me, looks up at me with those big blue eyes and says, "Dance,Grammie dance !"  So I dance !

23. I do believe in signs from above. I was followed on my morning walks by a little bluebird. It was my dad. I have no doubt.

24. Many trips to the ocean which nourished my soul. Ocean air, gritty sand, numbing water, hot sun filled my senses and made me so thankful for so much.

25. Caught up on my reading. 'Breakfast with Buddha', 'Shadow in the Wind' and 'The Help' were three of the books that kept me up late reading.  Getting lost in a good book is a great escape.

26. I participated in the 365 Photo Project for over six months. Each day I had to post a photo which would allow me to remember my year in photos. I learned a great deal about photography, "met" some incredibly talented photographers, and greatly enjoyed the project. But it did  seem to take on a life of its own and I found myself having no time for hooking my Mermaid, reading or writing blog posts. Hope to jump start that project in the future.

27. Sang ' The Wheels on the Bus' and ' Ring Around the Rosie' more times than I can count. My grandbabies keep me young.

28. Our community and I lost a dear friend. Suzie was so much to so many...she was a leader, a mentor, a volunteer, a wife, a mom, a grandma, a friend, an inspiration. She fought a hard battle against cancer for quite a few years. She was loved and she is missed.

29. Took the grandtwins to a Children's Museum where we explored many exhibits together. One of our favorites was donning goggles as we dug for dinosaur bones.

30. Drove up the Maine coast and discovered a town I fell in love with ~ Cape Porpoise. I could totally see myself living in this community. Maybe it is time for a change.

31. Babysat PeeWee the Great Dane for a weekend. She was homesick the entire time. And she thinks she is a lapdog.

32. Attended a three day Writing Workshop featuring Patti Digh, Jennifer Louden and Susan Piver. Motivating, inspiring, hilarious, creative... these three writers instilled in me the confidence and the desire to start writing again. And Patti Digh's words have become my new mantra...'Just sit the hell down and write !'

Just Ask

A few months ago I posted a book review for ‘Life is a Verb’ which was written by Patti Digh. Patti writes a blog http://www.37days.com/ from which the book got its beginnings. I became a daily follower of the blog and am ‘reading’ the book for the third time. I am attempting to live this book and follow its six principles.

I noticed on Patti’s blog that she was going on book tours around the country. She also stated that if you wanted her to come to your town just ask. So I asked. Repeatedly. Now I understand that Patti is a busy lady so I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t respond to my first fifteen requests. After all, I write to Ellen Degeneres all the time, inviting her to our town’s Agricultural Fair or to Old Home Days but she never answers. I have written to Michael Buble asking him to sit outside my bedroom window and serenade me. Haven’t heard a peep from him.

Then one day I saw on Patti’s blog that she had added a city to her tour. She was going to be in Sturbridge, Mass. on June 3rd. Hmmm…Sturbridge, Mass is only two hours from here. I fired out an email or two or three. I told her I would pick her up at the airport. I told her I would drive her wherever she needed to be driven. I told her I would take care of all publicity. I told her I would sell her books. I told her that she said all I had to do was just ask. So I asked.

She said yes.

Of course, immediately after Patti said ‘yes’ I panicked. Patti Digh was coming to talk to us about her book, ‘Life is a Verb’. Us? Who was going to listen to her besides me? I don’t think anyone else in our community of 4,000 people had even heard of her book – unless they had talked to me. I had a few sleepless nights as I tossed and turned, wondering what I had got myself into this time. I decided I had a choice – call Patti and explain that I couldn’t host an Author Meet & Greet or dig my heels in and get to work. Not being a quitter I dug my heels in and set to work organizing an Author Meet & Greet. The kind owners of our local café agreed to let me have the Meet & Greet there, I hung posters wherever there was a bare wall, and sent out mass emails to anyone I had ever said ‘hi’ too. I talked to anyone who had a pulse. I recruited my husband, children and friends. I called in any IOU’s that were hanging around out there. Blackmail and bribery also guaranteed a few more people would attend.

The morning of the big event I ran around doing last minute odds and ends. I had to pick Patti up at the airport in early afternoon and was faced with a dilemma – what to wear to meet an author? I also was baking some goodies to serve Patti. In the middle of everything I checked my emails. There was one from Patti and the subject line took my breath away – ‘Delay’. I truly didn’t want to open it up – I knew it wasn’t going to be happy news. Sure enough. Patti’s flight was delayed by four hours. She would miss her connecting flight. She was going to fly into Logan Airport in Boston, landing at 4:30 PM instead of landing at our local airport. Boston is one hour away from our town when you don’t hit traffic. She was landing in the middle of rush hour. My stomach started doing flips and I had to remember to breath. How was I going to get her here by 7:00 PM ? I paced. I panted. I sweat. I had a crowd coming to meet Patti Digh and now I might not have a Patti Digh. Oh Lord.

Patti got a driver and a car to bring her to NH. I was at the café waiting for her arrival. People started to file in. Chairs were filling up. I looked out the window every few seconds to check for her arrival. More people arrived. It appeared that the word of Patti Digh’s arrival had spread. People arrived from as far away as Boston. An old college friend of mine arrived whom I had not seen in almost thirty years. We had recently reconnected on Facebook. I did get teary when I saw her walk through the door. Many community members from all walks of life arrived to hear what Patti had to say – it was clear that this could be a standing room only event. I decided that maybe I should work on my Patti Digh imitation in case she didn't arrive on time.

And then she arrived. I saw the car pull into the driveway and Patti was sitting in the backseat. I had only seen her picture on her blog and I had only emailed her so I wasn’t quite prepared for the sound of her voice. She was more soft-spoken than I expected with a pleasant, slight drawl. She came into the cafe and was met by 60 people eager to hear her message. She read essays from her book, discussed the birth of her blog, and answered questions. After the talk Patti signed books and chatted for hours with the wonderful people of my community.

The evening far exceeded my expectations. I believe that ‘Life is a Verb’ has truly guided me in my quest to live a life full of intention and being more mindful of moments. I truly wanted to share this book and this talented author with my community – and I did. I was also reminded that evening of why we have lived in this town for twenty five years - because of the incredible people. They welcomed Patti Digh with an energy and spirit which was contagious. It was one of those evenings which I will long remember. And all I had to do was ask.

This was our gathering place.

Patti signs a book.

Patti reads from her book, 'Life is a Verb'.

It truly was a magical evening.

Baby Steps

When I took the book, 'Life is a Verb...37 Days to Wake Up, Be Mindful, and Live Intentionally', out of the box I knew it was going to be a sensory experience. The cover itself is enchanting and draws the reader in. The quality and texture of the paper begs you to touch it - it is ultra smooth and cool and the perfect weight. Your fingertips glide across each page, easily turning them when it is time. It was created this way intentionally. You know when you are holding 'Life is a Verb...' in your hands that you are about to embark on a life changing experience. You will not skip pages. You will not speed read. This book is meant to be absorbed into your whole being. You will read, reflect, investigate. The color artwork throughout the book was created by artists who are followers of Patti's blog. The art complements Patti's words perfectly. And throughout the pages perfect quotes from a variety of sources are displayed ~ with intention.

This book comes with instructions on how to read the book. Seriously. Each page has wide margins -intentionally. Patti wants you to have a pencil/pen in hand as you read so that you can write in the margin. Express yourself in the margin. Do whatever you desire in the margin- they are your margins. Be mindful of your margins.

Self-help books come and then they go. I have read many and the reality is I read, I thought, and maybe I even changed certain behaviors temporarily. Then the book sits on a shelf, never to be read again. Forgotten. What makes this book so different? Why do I honestly feel that if all people would seriously read this book - the world would be the world I want my grandchildren to be a part of - a world that respects all people, a world that is not judgmental, a world that slows down and is mindful of moments. Because this book makes sense - plain and simple. Patti never talks down to us but she never talks over us. She tells her stories to us - in plain English. In honest English. It is refreshing. She speaks from her heart and you know that you can trust her. She is a master writer. She is Mrs. Brillant. As I read this book I often found myself chuckling aloud. I often sat with tears running down my cheeks.

The book centers around six practices. For each practice there are stories, Patti Digh stories, written with her wit and her clarity. Each story is followed by an action challenge and a movement challenge. This is where the reader becomes an active participant in the book. You don't just read the book, sit back , put up your feet and wait for the change to take over. Oh, no! You get your feet wet. You get your hands dirty. You might feel uncomfortable. You might wiggle. You will reflect. You get to draw. You get to create. You will write. You will buy candles. You will look at life with a new lens. You will learn how to live with intention. You will be mindful. If you want change in your life...live the book.

I believe that this is a book that I will never finish reading. I will 'use' this book over and over and over. And that is the key to this book. You don't just read it - you interact with it. You perform the actions and movements - maybe at first quietly, and you check to make sure that no one is watching but then after using the book repeatedly, you become empowered. You put the windows down as you are driving, feel the wind messing up your hair and you sing LOUDLY to the music on the radio. You have become one with the book. You live the book. You understand.

I feel strongly that our world needs change. I feel strongly that it is time for change. I feel strongly that this book will be instrumental in bringing the change that we want, that we need. Baby steps...I will start with me.

Revolution

I have been waiting for weeks for tomorrow, September 20th, 2008. The day when I will get to do the big reveal. The day when I will take my laptop, run to the top of the mountain, and shout, type and squirm with excitement as I finally tell all my friends and family about THE book. But I don't know if I can.

I can't run. I can't scream. I can't squirm. I can't focus. I can't sleep. I can't type. I have type fright. I have taken on the responsibility of spreading the word about a book which WILL change your life, if you are looking for change. I strongly believe that this book will be at the core of a revolution which will change the world. We just have to spread the word. That is what I am supposed to be doing here, tomorrow, and I don't know where to begin. My heart is racing.



And then I thought about THE book and an 'action' which the author had given. THE book is full of actions and movements - I promise to tell you more tomorrow. Please bear with me. The 'action' on page 174 tells me to think of a yearning I have (right now my yearning is to write this post in a coherent, passionate manner) and then write a short story about that yearning using the story prompts which Patti, the author, lists. So that is what I am going to do although I am going to change the prompts to fit this post. I know Patti won't mind. By taking the suggested actions to heart and making modifications so that they fit our current life situation we will be able to make change within. We will progress forward - which is where I pray this post moves- forward.




Before we go forward we must speed backwards to this past February when my husband and I went to India so we could attend our oldest daughter's wedding. This was a humongous adventure for the two of us. We had never traveled much except for an occasional trip to Canada and a cruise or two. So there was much to do as we packed, applied for Visas, weighed luggage repeatedly, unpacked, repacked, made arrangements for our dog, met with the travel doctor, and cleaned the house from top to bottom although I am not sure why I felt that was necessary since housecleaning has never been a priority for me. We called friends to let them know our travel plans and paid bills before leaving so there would be electricity when we returned. After hours of fiddling with my computer I figured out how to set my email account to leave an automatic 'Deb has left the country' type of message. In the middle of the disorganized chaos we tried to go out to dinner with as many friends and family as possible before leaving. We tried to connect with my husband's sister, Margo, and her husband, Rick before we left since we were long overdue for a night out together. We checked calendars, we emailed but there was no way we could get together even for a drink. Life was too hectic with the packing, the paying of bills, the last minute trip to the dentist. Good heavens, I couldn't travel to India with 'dirty' teeth, now could I?





Speed forward. I am sitting in the hotel lobby which is located right outside of JFK Airport. We have returned from India. I excitedly log in to check my emails. I have missed my family and friends SO much. I can't wait to reconnect, to catch up on their lives. I open up the email from Margo. My knees go weak. My heart races. I look across the lobby for my husband. I can't see him through my tears. Rick was diagnosed while we were in India with pancreatic cancer. 58 years old. A smile that warmed up every room. Twinkly eyes. Incredible heart. Married to the love of his life, his soulmate. Dad to three, grandfather to one. A born listener. Best friend to hundreds. He was diagnosed on Feb. 14th - Valentine's Day. We attended his funeral on March 14th. We will never have that night out together.





Speed forward. I am in Florida visiting mom and dad. My husband and I are still trying to understand Rick's death. We are trying to make sense of this loss. We are sad. I am angry. Why in the world did I put getting my teeth cleaned and my coffee table dusted over visiting with Margo and Rick? No one in India commented on my clean teeth and the dust moved in again while I was gone. I wander aimlessly around on my laptop checking out blogs. There was no rhyme or reason to my wanderings or was there? I will leave that for you to decide.





One of the blog titles caught my eye and my curiosity ~ 37 days. The blog author, Patti Digh, asks this question of her readers, " What would you do if you only had 37 days left to live? " I was hooked. I stayed at Patti's for a long visit. I sat out on my parent's porch basking in the warmth of the Florida sun while reading deep into the archives of Patti's posts and slowly I felt Patti's words start to work their magic on the hurt and sadness I had been feeling since Rick's death. Patti nourished my soul. Thank you, Patti.





Speed forward - Excellent news for all ~ Patti Digh has written a book. She has written THE book. And Patti invited me to be part of the blogging book tour. By taking the action suggested by Patti in her book on page 174, I am now ready. I am honored. I am thrilled. Tomorrow I will share with you the book review I have written for Patti's newest book ~ 'Life is a Verb - 37 Days to Wake Up. Be Mindful. And Live Intentionally.' There's going to be a revolution ...we all wanna change the world... and Patti Digh has the solution! Read all about it ~ tomorrow! You won't want to miss it.