Monday, October 17, 2011

Just sit the hell down and write !

Dear Blog,

I feel as if I owe you a written apology for having neglected you for SO long. How ridiculous is that ?  Several of my 3AM anxiety attacks might even have been due to the fact that I have not written forever. I have missed you and the art of writing. My brain is going to bust open from the ideas that are ricocheting around inside. I don't believe there is any graceful way to slide back into writing on a regular basis. I just need to do it. Fearing that you might be angry with me for the L.O.N.G. hiatus, I have actually created a list of reasons as to why I have been absent for so long. Here goes ~

1. I had a speck in my eye. More accurately I had a whitehead thingy near my tear duct which my sister convinced me to let her remove with a sharp object. My husband held me down while she performed this mini-surgery in my living room. I will admit that I yelled, wiggled and squirmed but the surgery was a success. Whitehead thingy is gone and I can still see.

2. For the past ten months I have been grieving for my dad. I am trying to figure out how life goes on without him. I have not found the answer yet. I cry at random times and my heart aches. If you are reading this post and your dad is still alive please give him a call, write him a letter or give him a bear hug. You could do all three. xo

3. One day I quietly sat and watched a woolly bear caterpillar as it crossed my porch.

4. I am learning how to pray.

5. On numerous occasions I chased Lady the Goat around my yard. She is an escape artist and thinks she is a dog. After munching her way through my flower gardens she would appear on my front porch and bang her head on the door. Getting her back into her pen is no easy task.

6. My Mermaid rug project is ALMOST finished. I started this rug four years ago. Talk about embarrassingly slow. I am one slow hooker. I often have to decide between writing and hooking...and then I wander off to take a photo walk with my trusty camera.

7. I have developed a mini-bicep muscle. I refer to it as my (cap)gun. Twice a week I force myself to attend BootCamp. Never in a zillion years did I think that I would be doing push-ups, pull-ups or planks. Okay, so I still can't do a pull-up and my push-ups are wimpy but my planks are noteworthy.

8. Three months after Dad passed away, Mom suffered a stroke. I am still trying to figure out life with my 'new' mom. Life is different. Very different.

9. Six months ago we welcomed Grandbaby Five into our family. She is a cutie pie, full of love, laughter and giggles. I could just kiss her to pieces. I love how our family tree continues to grow.


10. My name is Debbie and I am addicted to Needle Naps. Ahhh...Zzzzz. Twice a week you can find me at Manchester Acupuncture Studio snoozing away while needles stick out of my fingers, toes, head and knees.

11. No more dirty eating for me. I now follow a clean eating regime which basically means I have taken processed foods out of my diet. Lots of protein, veggies and fruits and complex carbs...and an occasional peanut M&M.

12. In June, I had the honor of being a reader at my niece's wedding. Surrounded by family and friends, it felt right to read the special words which hopefully the newlyweds will hold in their hearts as they start their new life together.

13. Chased the chickens out of the garden, off of my porch and out of the garage. I don't like the chickens.

14. When it is not a BootCamp day I jog. I would like to say that I run but I am pretty sure that I am moving at the pace of a jogger. Whatever.

15. I swallowed a bug while jogging.

16. I saw a falling star the other evening. I made a wish.

17. I pretended to be a dinosaur while playing with my twin grandsons. We were friendly dinosaurs who chased each other until we fell down laughing.

18. Working on being able to beat my husband consistently at Bananagrams ! This is a tough one.

19. I took a workshop on learning how to mat a picture. I now have a better understanding of why it is so expensive to mat and frame pictures. Not sure I have the patience or skill to try this on my own.

20. I tried my hand at milking a goat. If we had to depend on me to get our daily milk we would be thirsty.

21. I ran a 5K recently. It was a gorgeous course that weaved through an ocean town. Breathtaking views inspired me as did being surrounded by fourteen hundred people who shared a common goal with me ~ finish the race ! Not only did I finish the race with a time of 33:10 I made sure to finish with a smile.

22. Many days I could be found dancing around my kitchen with my 2 year old granddaughter. How can I resist when she tugs at me, looks up at me with those big blue eyes and says, "Dance,Grammie dance !"  So I dance !

23. I do believe in signs from above. I was followed on my morning walks by a little bluebird. It was my dad. I have no doubt.

24. Many trips to the ocean which nourished my soul. Ocean air, gritty sand, numbing water, hot sun filled my senses and made me so thankful for so much.

25. Caught up on my reading. 'Breakfast with Buddha', 'Shadow in the Wind' and 'The Help' were three of the books that kept me up late reading.  Getting lost in a good book is a great escape.

26. I participated in the 365 Photo Project for over six months. Each day I had to post a photo which would allow me to remember my year in photos. I learned a great deal about photography, "met" some incredibly talented photographers, and greatly enjoyed the project. But it did  seem to take on a life of its own and I found myself having no time for hooking my Mermaid, reading or writing blog posts. Hope to jump start that project in the future.

27. Sang ' The Wheels on the Bus' and ' Ring Around the Rosie' more times than I can count. My grandbabies keep me young.

28. Our community and I lost a dear friend. Suzie was so much to so many...she was a leader, a mentor, a volunteer, a wife, a mom, a grandma, a friend, an inspiration. She fought a hard battle against cancer for quite a few years. She was loved and she is missed.

29. Took the grandtwins to a Children's Museum where we explored many exhibits together. One of our favorites was donning goggles as we dug for dinosaur bones.

30. Drove up the Maine coast and discovered a town I fell in love with ~ Cape Porpoise. I could totally see myself living in this community. Maybe it is time for a change.

31. Babysat PeeWee the Great Dane for a weekend. She was homesick the entire time. And she thinks she is a lapdog.

32. Attended a three day Writing Workshop featuring Patti Digh, Jennifer Louden and Susan Piver. Motivating, inspiring, hilarious, creative... these three writers instilled in me the confidence and the desire to start writing again. And Patti Digh's words have become my new mantra...'Just sit the hell down and write !'

18 comments:

Brian Miller said...

kinda like the watching of the wooly caterpilar...lots of ups and downs...the eye surgery is a little traumatic...smiles on the goat milking...and hope you get your wish...

SueAnn said...

I am glad you sat down and wrote! Fun read!!
You have a great week and play with those grandkids. I sure do!! Love them!
Hugs
SueAnn

Deb said...

Hi Brian ~
So happy to hear from you and I can NOT wait to come over to your blog home and lose myself in your words ! How is the book coming...remember I would like an autographed copy, please !

Take care, Debbie

Deb said...

Hi SueAnn ~

Thanks for stopping in. I never knew that being a Grammie was going to be so much fun...I am loving every moment !

Take care ~ Debbie

Akelamalu said...

All good reasons for not having time to blog. #3 I can totally relate to. I lost my Dad on 7th October and I'm desolate. :(

Maggie May said...

Lovely little granddaughter to love and cherish.

Sorry to hear about your mother's stroke following your father's death. Seems life throws everything at us a times.

I think you have done some really interesting things.
I particularly had a chuckle about your hooking! Perhaps you could produce a photo of the finished rug.

Some times praying evades us when we are laden with problems and weariness. Glad it has come back to you now.
Was good to hear from you again.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Deb said...

Dear Akelamalu ~ My heart goes out to you. I can honestly say that I know what you are going through. I wish I had an easy answer but I do not. I guess only time will heal our broken hearts. I do know that keeping busy was important to me...and I think that writing also is allowing me to heal. Take care of yourself and I will hold you in my prayers. xo

Deb said...

Hi Maggie ~ SO VERY glad to hear from you again. I am excited to get reconnected with my blogging friends ! I have missed you !

Daryl said...

'Just sit the hell down and write !'I am so glad you have taken this to heart. I have so missed you .. and I know how it aches to lose your dad .. tomorrow, Oct 20, would have been his 102 birthday, he passed on Oct 22, 2000 and the sadness still creeps in every so often .. hugs to you

Willow said...

Welcome back to this blogland. Treasure each day with your grandbabies. Sometimes they have to move far away and that will make you sad.

When the dr cut something off near my eye, he gave me a local anasthetic. I recommend it.

I'd sit and watch a woolly caterpillar all day too.

R. J. said...

It is amazingly easy to get very caught in the day to day activities. I can relate to your number 11. I struggle with it too. Sometimes I feel like working at the blog, sometimes I don't. It is good to see that you're still in bloggyland.

SandyCarlson said...

Life has its griefs and challenges and moments of being alone amid the chaos. Your heart is beautiful and makes sense of these things. Thank you.

Deb said...

Hi Daryl ~ Thank you for your compassionate words ~ much appreciated. I am happy to be back writing and also interacting with such kind people. I have missed you. Take care.

Deb said...

Hi Willow ~ One of my grandbabies actually lives closer to you than to me. I am going out to visit her next week ~ thank goodness for Skype. Glad to be back in Blogland !

Deb said...

Hi R.J. ~ Blogging can take on a life of its own...so I am learning how to blog in moderation. I guess it is like everything in life. I have missed all of my blogging friends. Glad to be back !

Deb said...

Hi Sandy ~ Thank you for your perfect words. xo

Trish said...

You've got the right stuff. Sit down and right is where it starts. You have a terrific sense of humor and cool sense of humor and the ironic, too, can that be part of what you write 0- aside from the blog??

Marg said...

I enjoyed coming back here. Sometimes we all need a break...No one will know how difficult a year I had...I read about yours, with your father dying and mother's illness. That's enough to throw you over the barrel. Keep praying my friend and you will truly find the way.
I've watch my kids separate...Ouch, Pain, Stress, Fatique...you name it...I should of taken a Hiatus long time ago...
Welcome back as we share our bits of pain here and there.

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