Monday, July 5, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Spring Cleaning 101
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Let me tell you...
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Zero Tolerance
In January, Phoebe Prince made the decision to end her life. She was fifteen years old. Her younger sister found her hanging in the stairwell of their apartment. Phoebe was the victim of bullying at South Hadley High School in Massachusetts. Her family had moved to America in the autumn of 2009 from Ireland. Phoebe was the new kid in town. And she was not met by the Welcome Wagon.
A freshman at So. Hadley High, Phoebe probably...maybe... dreamt of attending football games, semi-formals, giggling with girlfriends, getting her driver's license, going to concerts and finding Mr. Right. I don't know for sure. I never met Phoebe Prince but I wish I had. I wish I could have put a protective cloak around her and protected her from the bullies ~ the seven girls and two boys who saw it as their right to ridicule Phoebe constantly with verbal abuse. Nonstop. Throwing cans at her as they drove by. Drawing obscene pictures of Phoebe and hanging them for all to see. Emailing her, texting her, Facebook bullying, calling her obscenities as she entered the classroom. 24-7. I have a heavy feeling in my gut as I think about how Phoebe felt every day when she entered
I have been having flashbacks to my days in junior high school. The new kid in town, I was bullied by three girls. Three mean girls. Nancy, Valerie and Maureen verbally teased me and physically pushed me around ~ I avoided the stairwells and empty hallways. I feared being locked in a locker - yes, I was quite skinny back in those days and easily could have fit into a locker. They told me they were going to shove me in there and that no one would find me for days. Looking back, I now realize that I probably would have been found alive but at the age of 13, it was a threat that I took seriously. They pulled my hair. They elbowed me hard. I went home and cried. Mom told me to ignore them. I tried. Fortunately, after a year of this abuse, someone new moved into town and they moved onto their next victim. Phew.
So I am now obsessed with Phoebe Prince. There has been a fair amount of finger pointing as to who is at fault. The school, the bullies, the parents of the nine bullies, society at large...you and me. Have you ever looked the other way when you have witnessed a bullying situation ? Would you step in and get involved ? We must. Our society must take a stand against the bullies of the world. And I mean that wholeheartedly and sincerely.
When my husband and I were in Washington, DC recently, we stood in many lines throughout our visit. Musuem lines, restaurant lines, White House lines...but we were patient and chatted quietly while waiting our turn. One day we were in a long line while in the Smithsonian. There were fifty people behind us in line. I know because I counted them while waiting patiently. I noticed two teen-age girls quietly walking up the aisle, cutting everyone in line. I thought to myself, 'No. They wouldn't dare cut fifty people. They must know someone in line.' Well. Apparently they thought they knew me because they cut right in front of me. Out of all those people they picked the wrong lady to cut.
"Excuse me. You don't really think you are going to cut in front of me, do you?"
They turned and just glared at me.
"I am in line. I have been in line and you are not going to cut in front of all of these fifty people. The line forms at the rear, girls." I smiled, sort of.
They realized that I am teacher material. They realized that I am uncuttable.
"Oh. We didn't know there was a line." And they turned themselves around and went to the end of the line.
People around me thanked me, stating that they were glad I spoke up. They wanted to but they didn't dare. They didn't want to get involved.
Well, I am going to get involved. I am a protector of the underdog. I will take on the bullies of the world. I want to get into my car and drive down to South Hadley and have dicussions with the nine bullies who took Phoebe's life. I wonder if they were bullied at some point in their life. I read with sadness that one of the girls wrote 'Accomplished' on their Facebook wall the day after Phoebe ended her life. I want to talk to the parents of all involved. I want to help.
This is not the world I want my grandchildren to grow up in. I want their world to be one full of love, rainbows, four leaf clovers, peace, daisies, balloons and nonstop laughter ~ a life of celebration. I will don my supergrandma cape and protect them from the bullies, remembering Phoebe Prince and the life that was stolen from her.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Stale Jelly Beans
She bounced around on the front steps waiting for them to arrive. She had an all-over good feeling about the day. The night before, her mom had made a cake shaped like an Easter Bunny. This was a huge accomplishment for her mom since cooking/baking were not her areas of expertise. The bunny cake had come out perfect and it was now the centerpiece on the kitchen table. Covered in coconut with jelly bean eyes and nose, it appeared to welcome all who entered this house. Her mouth watered just thinking about the huge piece of cake she would enjoy later in the day.
The sky was still dark when she hopped into her friend's car. She was a bit nervous since she had no knowledge of church services or ceremonies. She didn't know how to behave or what to expect. Her mother had given her a one dollar bill to give at church. She checked to make sure it was inside her pocket. She wondered who she had to pay or when. She decided that she would just follow the lead of her friend.
The service was held in a field on a hillside. She followed the people up the hill to where there was a huge wooden cross standing. She prayed, she sang, she clasped the hand of her friend. And as the sun rose over the hill, she felt her eyes fill with tears and her heart filled with a feeling she could not describe. A sense of hope and joy filled her entire being.
On the ride back to her home, the excitement and anticipation of the day which lie ahead made it difficult to sit still. She couldn't wait to tell her parents about her experience. Maybe her family could start going to church together each Sunday. Couldn't hurt to ask them one more time. Her belly rumbled and she realized how hungry she was. Maybe Mom would let her have a tiny piece of the Easter Bunny cake for her breakfast. It couldn't hurt to ask.
She bounded out of the car, the sun filling the sky. She ran into the house, singing one of the hymns she had just learned. She hoped her younger sister was awake so they could attack their Easter baskets. She entered the kitchen and stopped skipping. She stopped singing. The sun stopped shining.
Her mother stood in the middle of the room, hair disheveled, bathrobe pulled tight around her thin body. The dark circles under her eyes seemed darker then ever. "Mom, what's wrong?"
"Your father didn't come home last night."
"What do you mean? Where is he?"
"He went to the neighbor's house to play cards lat night and he never came home. Go get him."
Tears filled the young girl's eyes. She headed out across the lawn, a path she knew all too well. Before long, she looked up to see her father headed her way, his head down. She turned back to the house and stomped inside. He entered, head still down. His wife greeted him with an icy glare, her cheeks hollow, her face full of anger. She turned on her heel, and slammed her bedroom door behind her.
The fifteen year old turned to her father, and she waited while she slowly transformed into the role of parent. The smell of alcohol poured out of his entire being.
"What were you thinking?"
No response.
"Do you know what day this is?"
No response.
"Today is Easter, A day of new beginnings, a fresh start. What kind of day do you think we are going to have?"
He attempted to make eye contact. "I need to sit down."
"Fine. You go sit down and I will try to figure out how to make Mom happy. I will try to save the day. One more time."
She resisted the urge to slap him across the face. He soon passed out in 'his' chair and was snoring. She stood staring at him, not knowing where to turn. She looked at the door of her mother's bedroom, shut tight as her mother tried to protect herself from any more hurt. She tried to take herself back to the hill where she had felt safe.
As she walked past the Easter Bunny cake, she thought about how stale and dried out it looked. It no longer looked appealing or appetizing. She laughed at how naive she had been...new beginnings, fresh start...not this time.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Cherry Blossom Special
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I am not a shooter of bunnies !
I looked at the owner of the voice, six year old little Emily. Sweet, precocious Emily with her matching hair ribbons and frilly pouffy dresses sitting in front of me, staring right through me with her huge eyes.
"What do I say about what, Emily?"
"You know. You just shot a bunny."
I was totally confused at this point. The picture book had no bunnies featured in it. I wasn't wearing a bunny or gun jewelry. What in the world was Emily talking about? I looked over at the paraprofessional in my class who was doubled over in laughter. What the heck ?!
"Emily, I am confused. I don't know what you are talking about. I didn't shoot any bunnies."
"Yes, you did. You did so shoot a bunny." She glared at me.
The other students watched the exchange. Being thoroughly confused I didn't know which way to turn. Maybe Emily had bumped her head out at recess? I asked her to come up to see me, hoping to clear up my confusion.
"Emily, I didn't shoot any bunnies. I would never shoot a bunny. I like bunnies.'
Emily shook her little head. She then whispered in my ear, "Mrs. Kelley, shooting bunnies means you farted."
"WHAT!! Emily, I absolutely did not shoot any bunnies !"
"Yes, you did. I heard you."
The paraprofessional leaves the room, tears streaming down her face.
"Emily, it was the chair squeaking. I did not shoot any bunnies. Now let's finish the story."
Emily folded her arms and continued to stare at me with a 'yes, you did' look.
I tried to regain my composure. I tried to get everyone focused on the story again. But the words bunny shooter just kept running through my head. Hopefully the other students were oblivious to the exchange between Emily and myself. I certainly didn't want to be labeled as a bunny shooter.
The day continued and soon we were all involved with making cheerio necklaces to celebrate the 100th day of school. Stringing 100 cheerios requires one to focus so the bunny shooting episode soon was forgotten.
Parent/teacher conferences were that evening. Conferences can be stressful because you never know what to expect. The first parents walked in, sat down at the round table with me and smiled as they asked, "Shoot any bunnies lately?"
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
My name is Debbie and I am a hooker.
These are the piles of wool at the studio where I take classes. Sometimes I forget to hook and just get lost in all of the colors, dreaming about future hooking projects.
Books, books and more books in the studio to help inspire us or guide us. I rely on these books lots as I work on my latest rug.
This zebra almost looks like an oil painting. My goal is to someday be able to hook like this!
Another work in progress by one of my hooking friends~ I just want to touch this sheep. His coat looks so realistic.
The next three photos are of a huge wall hanging of our Solar System. The pictures do not do it justice. This piece truly is a work of art and is just one of many rugs created by a hooking artist.
Friday, March 12, 2010
I’m not bowling alone.
I hate it when I suffer from a blogging block. For the past week I have been looking for some raw, clever, creative blogging material. Nothing too exciting happening in my corner of the world though. And I am feeling the pressure. My daughter, April, has hit the blogging jackpot this week…she has had over 25,000 visitors to her blog, Eclectic Effervescence, THIS week alone. Granted, she is one talented writer and she has taken on the mega-giant known as Facebook but her cause is valid and important on so many levels ~ freedom of speech, women’s rights, and right of babies to be nourished without having to suffocate under a blanket while eating. I am more than a little proud of April and her writing success but now…I have hit the writing wall…hard. I did consider the fact that April’s success came in part because she is writing about breasts and our societies’ confusion over the true purpose of breasts. So for a nano second I considered writing about vaginas. Maybe if I wrote about the saga of a menopausal vagina I would become an overnight blogging success but there were a couple of problems with that idea. One…my husband and children would be mortified and probably disown me. Two…what would I actually write about my menopausal vagina? I don’t think anyone really wants those type of details. So back to the blogging think tank I go.
I am fortunate that today is a Friday which means I can once again participate in ‘Only the Good Friday’, a meme created by my blogging friend who lives at This Eclectic Life . Maybe given a little structure and organization I would be able to focus. So I reflected on the week to try and determine my best thing. And after a couple of cups of my Yogi Egyptian Licorice tea which always calms me I had that ‘AHA’ moment. That moment when the Universe lines everything up perfectly. A feel good, let’s get writing moment.
I just finished reading ‘The Geography of Bliss’ by Eric Weiner. A definite worthwhile read about Eric’s travels to find the happiest place on earth. He states that 70% of our happiness comes from our relationships with other people. I knew that being around my family and friends always usually makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. He mentions the book ‘Bowling Alone’ by Robert Putnam which states that our sense of connection is fraying. We lead fragmented lives and spend less time socializing in person. Social networking on the Internet cannot replace the ‘up close and personal’ interaction between humans. When I am with my family and friends I can physically feel my soul being nourished. Sappy, I know, but it is the truth and the story behind my blog title.
So as I was considering what my best thing for this week was, Weiner’s words were buzzing around inside my head. I then realized what an incredibly full week I had lived surrounded by my family, friends, delicious food, bowling, rug hooking, laughter, shopping, romancing…lots of bliss. So many good things.
And as I organized my pictures of the past week to see if there were any which would tie in with this post, the little hairs on the back of my neck stood on end when I found this shot. My husband and I went to the beach on Sunday to enjoy the warm air which had moved into our area. This sign was in a gift shop window.
It IS in the shelter of each other that the People live…and may you never bowl alone.Friday, March 5, 2010
What's your best thing ?
So the other day I was out wandering through Blogland when I came across a new place to visit ~ This Eclectic Life. I felt very comfortable, sat right down and read for awhile. One of the features of this blog is 'Only the Good Friday' and it caught my attention. It is a meme and I don't usually participate in memes because I don't like any blogging restrictions. I like to blog when I want to blog or when I have the time to blog BUT I totally feel the need to focus on the positive in my life which is the intent of 'Only the Good Friday'. You just have to focus on something good that has happened in your life recently. No negativity allowed. It is simple ~ it can be a picture, a recipe, a thought ~ just keep it positive. So I signed on to help spread the good news because we certainly need it.
So what is my best thing? The obvious would be the fact that after three days without electricity we regained our power. I got to take a hot shower. Life was wicked good then. Plus three of my four kids were home for part of the outage adventure so we played Scrabble and other games during the outage which was fun. No television was heavenly. All good but not my best thing.
After the power came back I went with my husband to get our generator serviced. I thought this was a quick mission. Nope. I sat in the truck waiting, waiting and finally stomped into the generator garage to remind my husband that I was alive. He was talking to the technician. Surprise. I was standing, tapping my toes loudly when I noticed a jar on the counter FULL of Fireballs ~ one of my favorite candies which I have not had the pleasure of sucking on in a long time! I walked right over to the counter, stuck my hand in and pulled one out. I wanted to pop it in my mouth right then but what if it was one of the wicked hot ones and I couldn't hold it in my mouth until the hotness dissolved? I didn't want this technician to see me as a wimp. So I shoved it in my coat pocket for later. Minutes go by, generator talk still droning on so to the counter I go and grab another Fireball, giggling as I pull my hand out. I looked for a sign that said 'one per customer' but none was anywhere to be seen so now two Fireballs sat in my pocket. I walked around the generator showroom trying to figure out what in the world two grown men could find so interesting about this piece of metal when the urge came over me to grab just one more Fireball. Now I am feeling a little bit naughty at this point. I know I shouldn't grab the third Fireball but I did. It was done rather sneakily but I did notice the technician watching me. Oops. Time for me to go sit in the truck. So off I went ... three brilliant red Fireballs in my pocket... which I am saving for the perfect moment when I can just sit back, eyes closed, enjoying each molecule of hotness. That was a good day.
What's your best thing?